In need of prayers and moral support

[twoplusone]

I pray to God for all of us to handle our suffering well. That we don't just survive doctors firing us or us firing them, husbands abandoning us or us leaving them, governmental agencies examining us or us grilling them for help...but we arise stronger and better able to fight for that which calls deepest in a mother's heart. Only that her child's heart beats as fast, passionate, and at peace as she wishes hers would even in the darkest of moments when hope seems to be slowly slurping down the dirty bathtub drain. You are strong. You do have everything you need.

 

Those that show up and do what no one else will do, those are the ones who's suffering is rewarded. Not with cars or hunky husbands or reality shows, but a deep connection with the universe, compassion and above all the knowingness that when called you rose and never gave up fighting until the bitter end.

 

I am listening to some great meditation cds from the library-guided meditations for difficult times that I am finding very helpful and centering.

 

You were made for this.

 

Penny

[Hopeny]

My youngest has sensory issues and so have had EI and now CPSE OT and PT therapy. When I have to write up one of those forms I always put in something that I love about her, like I begin with R is sweet, adorable and loving. It makes me feel better and I want the person reading it to know she is really loved.

 

Regarding your husband, I can only empathize with you. When the smoke clears there will be an opportunity for a better, happier life.

[EAMom]

Oh Peg, I'm so sorry to hear about the problems with your husband. Obviously autism and PANDAS are not easy on a marriage! Allie certainly is lucky to have a smart insightful mom like you....cyber hugs! Things will get better and we are here if you need more venting!

[PhillyPA]

You are in my thoughts Peg.

[cobbiemommy]

Peg,

You are one bright and steadfast person. I have learned so much and gained confidence from your sound advice. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. You will create a new situation that is best for you and your daughter. Peace be with you.

 

Cobbie

[Christianmom]

Your post broke my heart to read. I don't have any advice, but you are in my thoughts and prayers.

[FallingApart]

peg, i've been familiar with your story for many years. I'm sorry to see of this new turn. Just recently I said to my husband that I was unprepared for the level of difficulties surrounding people and that they just seem to pile up. I didn't think that other aspects could get hit as hard.

 

Going along with the prayer at the top, I oftentimes find myself meditating "Harden not my Heart" wrt my daughter. I don't know if any of this is helpful but I just wish I could take the pain away for you.

[airial95]

Of course you have my prayers! You have always been such a pillar of support for so many here!

 

Some have offered good advice already, Might I add, if you haven't already, to explore other local resources to help with the paper work. Your local Office of Elderly Affairs might be able to help - while they focus on helping folks find assisted living, etc... locally ours also has ties to many organizations who help identify resources for young adults like Allie - including recommendations on doctors, and assistance with the paperwork. If they can't help - they may be able to point you in a good direction.

 

When we did the paperwork for my son's special education at 3 years old - I struggled with some of the same things you are. We had a special ed advocate that helped. She let me write up my son they way I wanted to - and then she took took it and edited them down - not only to be more clinical, but she also inserted several key "Buzzwords" and jargon that has helped make our path easier since. She was an expert in what they were looking for - so we let her take it. But it was immensely helpful for me to be able to write the description that I felt was appropriate - even if that's not what ended up on the application.

 

As for the pedi - I can relate! I have told ours he's not allowed to retire until my kids outgrow his practice - and if he tries, I will stalk him. I'm not proud. Maybe your pedi may agree to stay on outside of his practice as a consultant. Your new doctor would be the primary care, but you could contact him via phone or email to get his thoughts/opinion as a sounding board. It's worth a try!

 

As for the husband - take solace in the fact that you did try with counseling, and then remember God puts people in our lives for a reason, but He also takes them out of our lives for a reason, even if we don't always know what that is. Sometime it's for a lifetime, others its just for a brief period of time that serves His ultimate purpose.

 

Thoughts and prayers are with you - stay strong!

[norcalmom]

I'm so sorry Peg. It must be an very stressful time for all of you. I'm wishing you and Allie the best through the transition, and hope for you that it will ultimately prove to be a good change for you both.

Best- Norcalmom