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Night fears about death


mar
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So here we go again. Ds is having fears about death before bed. So DH says all kids have these. I say did you and when. He said I was older around 13 . I say really you never told me this and at that age!! Yes I had fears like this when I was 8 but no one held me or talked about it I just dealt with it. But to hear something from DH like its no big thing at that age I was like really! One again he just pops things up on me like it doesn't matter. Especially what is going on with ds. Why couldnt he tell me this years ago . I guess the point is that he will never admit to anything till a year later. Thanks for the help!!

Mar

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Don't feel alone....we have been dealing with 3 PANS kids for about 10 years. Our oldest clearly has issues with food and social eating. So about 2 years ago my husband just casually mentions in passing that when he was a teenager he was bulemic. What????? You would have thought that would have come up in the previous 20 years of marriage wouldn't you? Go figure..... Hang in there!

 

Dedee

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My DD has similar obsessive worries before bed when she is having flares. Personally I find talking to my husband about as helpful as talking to our pediatrician, so I just don't even waste my time. He tried to explain DD8's suicidal ideations as "normal". Try to find a trustworthy friend or family member to talk to.

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Hi - I have had similar grievances with my dh but just to maybe offer some hope.... my dh would get very angry/be unwilling to talk/be in denial etc and I felt desperately alone dealing with 2 PANDSAS kids on my own with what felt like no practical nor emotional support. Now, however, 4+ years on from when this all started, he has come round and I can mention it without fear of yet another rift ensuing between us. It took a while for him to accept...

 

I realise it's cold comfort now but your dh may come round. If he's like my dh it could be his unwillingness to accept what's going on/inability to fix it that is driving it rather than really not believing...

 

hope it gets better for you,

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Interesting that my DS also has these fears right before bedtime. I just thought it was his reaction to being overly tired. The episode lasts for about 3-4 min, sometimes longer. I comfort him which makes him feel better. Then he distracts himself by flipping crabby patties - to help him think about something he enjoys. He's a Sponge Bob fan!

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Wow thanks for the replys I don't feel alone:). So DH was also very angry and didn't want to hear anything from me and when dd started sniffing a couple years back he yelled you thought me and ds have issues she is going to be worst then both of us and threw a pillow on his head !!!! At that point I cried in the bathroom about dd and ds and DH saying this to me! I felt defeated and alone. I felt like I am dealing with 3 kids and I just don't know what is happening. He has gotten better where he will listen to me for about 5 min but I can tell it stresses him out and I think I am hitting it to close to home where he wonders about himself. But if he could help me out a bit with what he dealt with i could be prepared somewhat. But the sad part is he dealt with this throughout his childhood and his parents did nothing for him. Well for the crappy patty idea good idea I feel Like whatever helps I awsome. Ds and I looked at OCD book and called it the green guy on his shoulder and I did what I did in the past. I told him to fling him off your shoulder and image him bouncing back and forth around the room. And he smiled saying he remembers. He did well tonight. I just wish DH would stop hiding things from me. Doesn't he realize that this could make my life easier if I would know what he went through!! another one is a little while back he says around sixth grade I couldn't sit still!! I ask more he says I don't remember. Bull how can you not remember. Ds is going into 5th. But when ds or dd can't sit still he yells. Last thing if I was like that as a kid i would have sympathy for them and not get agrivated. What gives.

Mar

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