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low, low day....


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Feels like we have taken 100 steps backwards...

 

DD4 wakes up this morning with spots that are identified as chicken pox. 4 hours later, we are standing on the sidwalk and an ambulance goes by - she starts screeching, putting hands over ears, and climbing/scratching her way up my body. We go in the closest shop, and she refuses to leave because the "ambulance is coming back". We finally get home, only to have her ask me to do a puzzle with her, then she starts arging with me that I'm not supposed to do the puzzle with her as the picture on the box only shows little girls, not moms. She literally followed me around for an hour trying to continue the argument - I could not distract her in anyway. Black bags start to appear, then comes fever. I'm thinking a nap might be in order (she hasn't napped for three years, but she looked so bad & tired), I go to put her bed - wonderful, wonderful hour long rage - after I removed myself after the first 15 minutes from the kicking/hitting/biting and made sure she was safe, she screamed at the top of her lungs for another 45 minutes - throwing in "my head is hot, my head is hot" (no kidding, so was mine, but for totally different reasons...) She slept for over 2 hours, then woke up fighting again as different things "are not right!!".

 

I don't know if this is better or worse, but now she is with her dad outside and seems perfectly fine for the moment :blink:

 

This is really kicking me down. I feel so teary, angry - definitely going through the grieving process of trying to accept our new reality that this is going to be a long haul...

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Uh oh!

If my memory is up to snuff, chicken pox lasts 2 weeks, right? Have you tried the search bar with "chicken pox"? I can't recall reading any posts about chicken pox but I can imagine you are in for a rough go of it. My dd12 used to scratch and pick at bug bites until they scared. I used to have nightmares about what chicken pox would have done to her!!!

I feel for you. Hang in there best you can.

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Thinking of you! I understand when they follow you around and scream and rant and nothing is right. So sorry she is sick and flaring. I hope your weekend was not so bad. If you can call in any reinforcements, try to find a little time for yourself to "recharge" to aid you in weathering the storms. So hard, I know. We're living it too. Sending positive energy to you today.

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I'm so sorry that you and your child are going through this. Our dd didn't ever get chicken pox so I can't tell you much about that, but I do understand the raging, inconsolable, argumentative, obsessive behavior all too well. Just reading what you wrote took me back to that bad spot. Hang in there. Better times are ahead. This will not last forever. Treasure those moments she is asleep or with her dad and try to step away from it for a bit. Vent, vent, vent here since this is the place to let it out! I'm praying for your child right now. I hope today gets better for all of you.

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Thanks so much for the words of support - it feels so good to hear from people who really get it!

 

She was vaccinated for the chicken pox at a year old - public health told us on Friday "this vaccine is not 100%, but it will reduce the severity of the bumps". Little did they know, the bumps are the least of our worries.... :wacko:

 

She did only end up with about 15 bumps and a couple of days low grade fever, but is definitely experiencing a full flare of symptoms (much more emotional lability this time though). She's not even 30 lbs soaking wet, but she had me on my parenting knees this weekend! Thankfully we saw ND today again and she was able to give her a remedy that has seemed to help for today. We gave lots of advil this past weekend - it seemed to only help about 2 hours max per dose time, but it was pretty bad so 2 hours felt incredible...

 

I'm so scared we are losing sight of her true baseline - new normals are seemingly created every day. For example,when she is not raging, I feel so relieved that it can be easy to feel that is baseline (even though she is still clinically defiant, ocd symptoms, and separation anxiety through the roof) - I'm finding it hard to hang onto "what used to be"??

 

I don't know, maybe I'm losing it too :blink:

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