Do I have OCD

[seanb86]

Sorry but I am just looking for some kind of feedback, I think im finally ready to try and ask for help (which is incredibly hard for me)

 

I am 20 years old and have always had a hard time in social situations.

 

I feel I am loosing my focus, I start my day with goals and slowly convince myself to do nothing or put them off.

 

I find myself counting in multiples of 3s usually 30's, in my head while doing something with my fingers or toes.

 

I can never relax, my mind is usually racing and I have a very difficult time staying on task. I feel my condition is worsining but find it hard to tell because I just dont trust my thoughts anymore.

 

I will sometimes wake up feeling awful and for no apparent reason by the end of the day feel incredible and on top of the world. I find myself to be the most motivated person in the world at times but it usually does not last for long.

 

I constantly check to make sure I have set my alarm clock correctly even though I know it is set right because I just did it.

 

Smoking marajuana seems to be the only thing that can relax me and allow me to clear my head.

 

I have a very difficult time going out in public, i was at a grocery store a few weeks ago with my mother and almost started crying and had to leave because I could not handle the pressures of being there.

 

At times I do not want anyone to look at me.

 

When I was younger I remember saying things to myself like run up the stairs a few times or mom will die or my sister, almost always a family member.

 

I find it difficult to even call friends or see them anymore even though I know that makes me feel worse.

 

HELP