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fuelforall

Son wants to leave middle school

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So we put my son in a special ed program and he can't stand being in a school full of PANDAS kids.

;)

I jest, but you can guess what I mean. His classroom is full of kids he says are in worse shape than he. He can't learn, he can't behave himself because he finds it so distracting.

 

We are examining options. Please post any thoughts, ideas, etc. My son is beginning to heal slowly now and this is an important time to consider what to do. We have a possible school for next fall but that is next fall, not now.

 

Michael

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So we put my son in a special ed program and he can't stand being in a school full of PANDAS kids.

;)

I jest, but you can guess what I mean. His classroom is full of kids he says are in worse shape than he. He can't learn, he can't behave himself because he finds it so distracting.

 

We are examining options. Please post any thoughts, ideas, etc. My son is beginning to heal slowly now and this is an important time to consider what to do. We have a possible school for next fall but that is next fall, not now.

 

Michael

 

I believe this place http://www.mathnasium.com/middleschool.html has some sort of program for homeschoolers...so it's possible to do some subjects at home "contract out" (is that the right word?) others so the full burden of middle school isn't on you.

 

Also, I remember when my neighbor's son had cancer (and he couldn't be around other kids, immune issues from chemo etc) the district had a teacher come to their house.

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Michael --

 

Not to make light, but don't MOST junior high schoolers want to leave their school at some point in those tedious, aggravating, hormone-infused three years? ;) Seriously, though, I remember that period of my life as something I'd never want to repeat, so if it's your son's PANDAS talking, it might just be an intensification of a pretty normal reaction.

 

My DS sort of did leave junior high for a while since that's when his PANDAS went into nuclear meltdown mode, and we wound up home-schooling for a couple of months, and then gently "sliding" him back into school one class at a time over the course of another 3 months. It was tough on all of us, but did have things more fortunate than some being as DS is an only child and DH is self-employed and working from a home office. It gave us more flexibility in the face of all the chaos, for sure.

 

Now that he's back and made it into high school, he's got an IEP so he is in "special ed," technically, also, but he's mainstreamed into regular classes with the exception of his one daily resource class which he shares with a handful of other special ed classified kids. Like your DS, he sometimes looks around and realizes that there're a lot of kids very much like him only they're walking around with diagnoses like ADHD, bi-polar, etc. For him, though, it's been sort of an "I'm not all alone" moment that he's liking on some level, rather than hating it.

 

Sorry I don't have any stellar ideas for you . . . just some commisseration and a thought or two that this too may pass. -_-

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Hi Michael--I am so sorry--what a nightmare this time is for you, and for your son!

 

Our youngest d spent all of last year "un-gradeable"...she went from A's and B's to D's and F's. Our small school was able to work with us to accommodate her illness related back-slide academically. Every single quarter she was ungrade-able, as we hoped and prayed for insurance to come through for pheresis. It never did and we ended up doing IVIG in May, after the end of a heck of an experience, for her, both academically and emotionally...She was essentially back to herself within four weeks post-IVIG. If only we had done it sooner.

 

We kept her in as "normal" a setting as possible at school, this being an illness-related issue, not a permanent disability issue.

 

For self esteem reasons alone, especially at middle school, if he is with children with cognitive disabilities who are not representative of his normal ability this may be damaging I would think. My d does not even want to wear the clothes or have any reminders of her last year experience now that she is back to being herself--Thanks to IVIG.

 

Have you visited the special ed. classroom to see what your son's experience in that setting is like? You said "he can't learn..." because the other kids are so distracting, but if he is healing from a Ps episode then of course just his current state could be the issue as to why he can't learn, I would think it is very tough to tell the difference. Regardless, it does not sound like it is "working." ???

 

Two questions for you: Are the treatments you have done aggressive enough? Did they work?

 

Can you get the school to support your child under "Other Health Impaired" as the label? -- it may open other possible supports like home support for part of the day, etc.

Edited by T.Mom

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So we put my son in a special ed program and he can't stand being in a school full of PANDAS kids.

;)

I jest, but you can guess what I mean. His classroom is full of kids he says are in worse shape than he. He can't learn, he can't behave himself because he finds it so distracting.

 

We are examining options. Please post any thoughts, ideas, etc. My son is beginning to heal slowly now and this is an important time to consider what to do. We have a possible school for next fall but that is next fall, not now.

 

Michael

Homeschooling would be a good option for you, I think. We've always homeschooled, so for us it was easy to deal with the PANDAS monster and not have to deal with teachers/etc. But it sounds like at this point being in that special ed class will do more harm than good. There are many good programs out there that will "walk you" through each day, so if you have a dedicated parent at home, it can totally be done. It might be just a great oportunity to spend more time together and help him gain confidence that he CAN do it. Plus you have the added benefit of reducing exposure to whatever old the other kids may be carrying each day :) Just be sure to check all the legal aspects of it, which vary greatly by state. You don't want to add a battle with the school system/social services to the mix! HSLDA (Home School Legal Defense Association) can help you figure that out, or just get in touch with homeschoolers in your area.

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Hi Michael,

It actually sounds, between the lines, like your son is doing great!

I think you should honor his wishes and rescue him from that situation. There is a great homeschooling community in NYC called New York City Home Educators Alliance(NYCHEA)-- you can google them-- for a nominal annual fee you can get all their listings of amazing things to do to nurture your son, if you have the time to do it. This was a good alternative for us for several years.

My son is back in school now, and doing great. I don't think your son should be in a special ed classroom. You must have an IEP for him, so maybe you can get the DOE to provide some tutoring services at home.

Good luck.

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