Looking for pity party, please

[dut]

I've had enough today. DD8 is good so I'm thankful for that but ds4 is not so good.

 

I've been spat at, hit, punched you name it. I'm on tenter hooks taking him out 'cos when people comment or, god forbid, try to touch his angelic looking curly blonde locks, he lunges at them saying horrid things, that thankfully, most don't understand. A minute later he is sorry or calm again but I never know when the next whirlwind is coming. Dh doesn't get to see how bad things can get all day long and doesn't seem to get how tiring it can be for me.

 

I'm off to the kitchen for some comfort cupboard-foraging, I just thought folks here would understand how helpless and miserable this whole pile of crap makes you feel at times.

 

Thanks.....

Edited March 18, 2012 by dut

[MomWithOCDSon]

So sorry, dut! Seems as though you're getting more than your fair share of crummy days of late. On the weekend, can you ditch the kids with DH and head out with a girlfriend for some fortifying shopping and a quick lunch? Or go get your nails done, or something? Something to take care of YOU and give yourself a little breather!

 

I know our DH's work hard, but I'm betting it's more likely about feeling powerless and helpless, and that's such an uncomfortable feeling for them that they tend to "check out" rather than stay in that uncomfortable state of mind. At least that's what happens with my DH, I think.

 

Hang in there!

 

Nancy

[peglem]

Sending you a huge helping of pity. Dealing with this crap stinks!

[melanie]

Totally feeling your stress. Keep sharing. It helps. Try to get some sleep tonight. Tomorrow will bring good things.

[eljomom]

sorry dut----i can totally relate with the husband being a less-than-supportive-and-compassionate listener in all this. In fact, my marriage is shredded over it, and my dd is the one suffering because we can't talk about treatment options, or even her symptoms, without a huge fight. I wish getting out and getting away helped, but it's still all I think about.....

I wish I had something positive to offer, but I'm realizing how good it sounds just to hear someone say "yes, this really does suck" instead of telling me "it'll be okay"---especially when it might not.

I will offer to forage the cupboard from afar with you though

[SSS]

If it makes you feel any better, this afternoon I have been told repeatedly that I am

weird, an idiot, stupid, I hate you, and hideous (pronounced eed-e-ous) And had toys thrown at me to boot.

Ah the joy of 6 year old coprolalia during die off.

Yesterday I went to my first 1st grade conference, where I was told she was an absolute pleasure,

only 1 of 2 who got all 'outstandings' for behaviors and work ethics,

and a free pizza coupon for outstanding student.

I couldn't help it, I burst out laughing.

I am of course thrilled to death, but it is a different entity at home.

Hang in there!

[dut]

Thank you all. I know I have no right moaning when there are parents of PANDAS kids, not to mention the young adults and adults on here with PANDAS, that go through much more than I do.

 

Your kind words and about 1500 calories of junk food :-) have got me back on the horse.

 

thanks....

[LNN]

Oh, Dut. I was so sorry to see this post. I was actually logging in as a result of insomnia - triggered in no small part by your help in educating me on methylation and the excitement I'm feeling. If it makes you feel any better, I was in the dumps just two days ago, when DS hit a mental wall. Had my own chocolate chip and peanut butter party. Today DS was in a much better place again and my sails were lifted. It's never a straight path.

 

DD in the meantime has been clinging to me for 5 days with a virus that's had her on the couch, missing school, me unable to get much work done. Told DH tonight that if I heard "Mom, I don't feel good" (which I'd been told every 30 seconds for days on end) one more time, I was going to slit my wrists. DH responded by telling me to come take a look at this cool media app he installed on the home server....If looks could kill...I'd be a widow.

 

DD (6) is prone to evil spells - not as bad as you describe, but evil enough that I feel your pain. And yes, she too is ever so charming in school. Her Achilles heal is that she is very fond of her stuffed animals to the point they are almost real to her. Time outs, loss of privileges, etc don't do much when she's in one of her snits. So now when she crosses a line, one of her animals gets put in time out instead. Taken away, put up high, for an hour, a day..whatever hits home. Sends her into orbit with regret and changes her tune very quickly. (tho one night she ended up with a whole menagerie in time out before she stopped). She blames her behaviors on OCD fairies. But I tell her that if our dog bites a neighbor, I'm the one who will be in trouble with the police. I'm responsible for controlling the dog, even if I didn't do the biting. She's responsible for controlling the fairies and her own temper and especially her own actions when it comes to harming someone. Maybe your DS has a similar weakness you can exploit.

 

I truly believe with DD, regardless of whatever infection or PANS insults she's got going on, methylation is going to be the starting point for turning the ship around. The 5-methyltetrafolate and betaine were ordered from amazon today. Hang in there and know that you're going to get to the bottom of things too. In the meantime, I've found that making voodoo doll likenesses of certain family members, with hat pins inserted strategically, can be very therapeutic

[dut]

.

Edited March 18, 2012 by dut

[thenmama]

xx

Edited March 28, 2013 by thenmama