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'sometimes it seems to cross the great divide,

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oops -- sorry -- the line is 'seems more than all the courage. . . "


this is a line from an indigo girls song, 'the wood song' that still brings tears to my eyes b/c it seemed to fit about 12 yrs ago when i was having some professional challenges.


i'm reminded of it this week as i have worked to get my school phobic pandas 7 year old back into school. in the past 2 weeks, we have moved -- (1.5 weeks after dh had emergency appendectomy); ds was in the school building for 'meet your teacher day' when the east coast earthquake hit (i know, are you kidding me?!), he went to school the first day okay but scared, likely under shell shock; the next two days went kicking and screaming. then, we had a hurricane with 4 day power outage. how's that for keeping pandas stress levels low? oh yeah -- he's lost his 2 front teeth this week.


the school has been fabulous so far and have now allowed me to walk with him to his class and sit outside the class. remember, in the beginning of the summer, i was wondering when i'd have time for novels? i've got it now!!


we're working on an ERP-like plan to edge off the separation anxiety. he's doing well, with me outside the classroom for the am yesterday, then lunch with me, then class by himself. today, i split the time between outside the classroom and in the lobby, then lunch.


as we approach the school entrance, his clutch intensifies on my hand and i can feel his entire body tense. this continues until about 10 feet into the building and then relaxes. it's an intense mental and physical reaction i don't believe he has any control over. i do believe it is literally all the courage he can possibly muster to get through that door. . . but he's doing it!!


i'm sure there will be more challenges to face, but i'm encouraged we've got some framework to guide us -- mainly from anxietybc. com and of course, all of you!! we've got a new name of a new therapist who is highly recommended -- i've been so disappointed/disgusted with the psych arena -- but i'm trying to be positive.

Edited by smartyjones
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I am so sorry you are going through all this at the same time. I always wonder why there are times when things all happen at once. Hard enough dealing with a child who is struggling and I am sure your heart breaks everyday for him. After everything that has happened, I think it is awesome that he is still going back to school. Hang in there....you are doing a great job with your son. School is so hard on these kids.....



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Smarty --


You're such a wonderful mom and advocate for your boys; they are very lucky to have you! And the school is lucky to have you, too, there to support both your DS and them during the school day!


I know it takes a lot out of you, though, so do what you can to rejoice in the small steps and take even just a few minutes to replenish your own spirit!


And LOVE the Indigo Girls! Two of my favorites are "Galileo" and "Let It Be Me." Always worthy of a few tears and some wistful memories, those ladies!


Much light coming your way! :)

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