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Any kids that seem fine at school?


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His kindy teacher last year thought he was great because he was always cleaning up the room and picking up even the tiny pieces of paper off the floor. She would tell me how wonderful he was.

I taught Kinder for 12 years and that made me smile!

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My mom and dad has dealt with my dd in melt down form while she was at there house but there house is her 2nd home.. So they understand my IL's would not want her back if they saw this.. and my MIL has asked me over and over if I think maybe she could be just putting on a show to get her way... Honestly I think if I hear that one more time I might lose my cool with my MIL..

but I have just excepted that unless people are going though this they are not going to understand it..

 

But the whole falling apart infront of mom/dad thing is so crazy..

my dd spent the night at my parents house on saturday, when she left my house I warrened my mom and dad that she was having symtpoms all day saturday.. but at my parents house she was perfect no moodiness no crying... Then sunday night her dad and I went to watch the football game at my parents house and have dinner.. with in 15 mins of me being there she was having symptoms..

I wasn't sure if it was just me and my husband being there... or if maybe my strep isn't gone yet.. I had strep throat on Jan 8,2011 and she reacted to it.. I did a zpack but never went back to the doctor for any sort of testing to see if it was gone. but since a few days before I tested Pos She has been having symptoms everytime she is around me... I didn't think it was me until lastnight when I was told she had been great for over 24 hours until 15 mins after I walked in the door..

 

So was it just seeing mom or am I setting off some sort of PANDAS trigger in her since I had strep??

 

 

 

I have explained time and time again to my inlaws that this is typical behavior with pandas, to fall apart only with mommy/daddy. They still to this day do not believe that is possible and that I have spoiled my boys rotten. This is not a battle I will win and have come to realize that to the outside world we look like failures for not having control over our children when they are perfectly behaved everywhere else :wacko:

 

Yes there are times I want the kid to lose it at my in-laws to they don't have to act so self-righteous, but the bottom line is that then he would not be welcome at their house!!!

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Absolutely!!!!!

My 13yo son has been a trooper. His guidance counselor does not see any of what we describe. At home he can be anxious , moody, irritable, sullen, quiet voice....

 

She states He is even a bit of a class clown during the day. He is pretty popular.

But when that bus pulls up and the pupils dilate I know it can be a rough afternoon. What seems to work for our son is to have a friend over in the afternoon

he plays video games and basketball all in an effort to distract himself. He has had times where even with friends he will still become quiet and anxious ( the sign that the party is over time for friends to go) All in all I am so impressed with his tenacity but this flare has been going on since the fall and he is getting more frustrated and tired with the whole ordeal.

 

btw, he is failing math at the moment but honestly we are just happy he is able to even go to school!

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Dedee, I would tell you to have your husband read this thread so you can say, "see?", but unfortunately he will most likely say, "those women are crazy, don't read that stuff!". I know the pandas-dad too well.

 

 

Hahaha... though it's not funny.. but really what is it with the PANDAS dad... My husband will not really read anything and learn, he just listens to what I read and tell him about... and then he doesn't undestand what and why she does what she does.. and Just this week I looked at him and said.. you know its a disability really, she isn't going to responde and act like you think a normal child would no matter how normal she seems at times.. So he got mad at me for "saying she wasn't normal" UGH... and ~sigh~ but he is slowing coming around.

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During our dd's 1st exacerbation at age 3, we had to pull her out for half days, as she was not eating or sleeping at school. She was not playing with other children, or interacting. It was a bad situation.

 

During her next 2 exacerbations, we were "lucky" and the worst parts were during the summer. We did keep her in camps, as she loves them and needed something to do, but we would only do half days, pulled her out early if necessary, ensured most meals were with us, etc. It was almost impossible to drop her off, and generally I needed a supportive staff person to pull her off of me, and someone to help her get engaged. Once there and involved, she could normally have a decent time for a few hours at a time. However, it was just fun time, no real pressure at all.

 

The "lower" parts of her PANDAS episodes were during school, and she did have challenges (too much time in restroom washing, arguments constantly with friends, challenges with handwriting, unable to sit in circle, constant asking of reassurance questions to teacher, unable to eat), her teachers did not really "notice" or expressed "annoyance" with her questions. She was mostly went silent, and in a large class, just faded in. She was misrable, but so long as she was not causing issues, they did not really care. This was a montessori program, and it allowed her to go at her own pace - so while she was no longer really learning, she was so far ahead of the class that again, no one noticed. The worst was that she dropped into the lowest spelling group while the rest of the class flew by her. I was actually shocked at a review session at how far the rest of the class had moved, while we were just struggling with OCD. I guess at that point, I was just glad she was surviving. They also had to help pull her off of me every day.

 

She was actually spitting so many times at that point, that I had to send in a change of clothes and her face was raw - but no one even asked me about that!!! Weird.

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Thank you Emerson

Reading your post always give me a better understanding of what my daughter might be feeling, even when she is not willing to talk about it herself. Thank you.

 

 

Just thought I'd chime in.

 

With the symptom explosion in 06 holding it in wasn't exactly possible. But as I got more used to the twitches & compulsions & everything, it became a lot easier. I can't remember who it was that I talked to about this, but I tried my best to make it clear that "holding it in" & "being okay" at school are two totally different things. Don't think anyone's implying that, just had to say it. By the time 07/junior high rolled around, I was pro at holding it in. You can tense your muscles hard enough to keep yourself from twitching. It hurts like #### though. You can substitute little compulsions for big ones. When I want to pace, I play with my hair like a MANIAC instead. I used to pull it all out, but I don't do that nearly as often anymore.

 

Everyone's kind of already said it, but it really is just like opening a floodgate once all of that pent up stuff gets let out. It's not even a comfort thing. It's not like I don't want to show people that side of myself at school, but I don't care at home so I just let my freak flag fly... If I had something to do after school it didn't matter where I was or who I was with. I would blow up. In the end holding it in isn't necessarily a BAD thing so long as they understand what they're doing. It's really just a personal choice. Would you rather have a more "normal" school experience even if you have to pay the consequences afterwards, or would you rather have consistent, more manageable symptoms even if you feel a little out of place at school? When I started high school I chose the latter & I think it's been beneficial.

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Never had to discuss any of this with my son's school. They describe him as extremely bright and just a good good boy... I never mentioned pandas but have asked if they ever noticed his subtle tics... only last years teacher knew the eye blink I was talking about. None have noticed the throat clearing. His worst pandas time was when he was in 1st grade, he's now in 3rd and his first grade teacher never saw any concerns about him... They attributed any quirks he had to him just being a bright kid. What I had at home was a child who wouldn't sleep, who was having irrational meltdowns.... Totally different from the kid they saw at school.

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