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My son is convinced he's on the naughty list


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My heart is so heavy tonight - when we should be excited and happy! For a few weeks now, DS7 has been asking a lot if he will be on the "good list". We have reassured him he is. We have minimized Santa threats - although I can't say I'm completely innocent of reminding him that Santa is watching ;)

 

Tonight - he has completely lost it and it's got me so depressed! He recently has begun periods of crying - sobbing really - for hours with little known reason. We were at our neighbors and his best friends and he suddenly got "that look" in his face and fell to the ground, refusing to speak. He tried to smash his gift on the road on the way home.

 

He is in bed now, not speaking and just crying. He doesn't want me there when I try to comfort him no matter how hard I try to approach him quietly and calmly. He did say that Santa isn't coming because he is bad. He wouldn't put the cookies out or say goodbye to his Magic Elf (who he adores!).

 

I was already afraid for the meltdown in the morning. You know - the one where he suddenly realized one toy he wanted and didn't get. Now I just want to forget Christmas altogether!

 

I do so hope everyone else is having a better time!

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oh tantrums -- so sorry to hear it! hopefully tomorrow will go much better.

perhaps you could leave a note for him from santa

 

my mom always sends my kids a short note the week before christmas from santa. this year, 6 and 8 (i can't believe the 8 yr old still believes altho being flat out told by a friend last year) they were so happy and relieved when they received the note. 6 yr old pandas (not exacerbation) said he was really thinking he was on the naughty list and was very happy to hear he'd be getting things. i was really surprised b/c we don't really push that. he then said he believes each person has their own naughty and nice list and whichever list of yours is ahead at that moment determines it -- so he certainly had a long naughty list, but it only takes a little more nice to be ahead.

 

now for me, this is all pretty funny b/c he's not in exacerbation. the only things that would really get him on the naughty list are pandas related -- inappropriate reactions and striking brother, ODD. it was interesting to hear how he sees it. naughty isn't something we really teach -- we talk about using good and bad manners and treating people how you want to be treated - not reallly being good or bad.

 

i was really surprised at their reaction to that note. i don't know -- just wanted to share so maybe it can spur an idea for you.

 

i love the repeating technique from the explosvie child. he - "i'm not on the nice list". . . you - "you're not?!, really? hmm, i would have thought you were" he - "santa's not going to bring me anything." you - "he's not?!" for my son, it stops a lot b/c there's nothing to argue with and he realizes it doesn't make sense or just drops it. reassurance would keep it going.

 

 

good luck. merry christmas!

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I hope the morning went better than last night. Some things that may help is not asking if they like what they got, do not ask what their favorite present is, if they got money from anyone don't ask what they want to buy with it right now.

 

I hope this passes overnight and he wakes up happy:)

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I am so sorry to hear this but we are in the same pandas flare boat as you.

]My son said all he wanted for christmas was for his anxiety to be gone.[/b]

Guess what ? He didn't get that one item " Charles Woodson football shirt" which triggered the cascade of emotion

and the realization that not only was the anxiety not gone it was worse!

 

terrible day for a really great kid :(

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I sure hope today was better for the both of you. I had the same problem last night. Before bedtime, she started singing! I was so happy and elated because she would not let us have any music on or sing because of the ocd. But then she got to bed and started hysterically crying because she was so afraid that she would have another dream of someone actually touching her and waking up feeling contaminated/ which would lead to either not touhing her presents / or opening themand never touching them again cause she contaminated them.

 

Well the dream came and as soon as she got up she jumped in the shower. would only tear the presents on top and have us open the bottoms. She has had 3 showers today, hand washing forever and requests to lysol the livingroom a couple times and wanting the dog to have a bath etc. etc.

 

But, I did give her the ibuphrofin twice today and she did sing again! Hallejuah!! Not one time did we have to mute the tv or repeat a song.

 

Her anxiety is still top peak but no rages although was so close a couple times that we could'nt visit the grandparents cause we knew she was an inch from losing it. Still worried about the family party tomarro, but if she can still sing and listen to music; I think I'll take whatever she has to dish out.

 

Sending prayers and good vibes out for you and your son.

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