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  1. Hey, folks. First of all, I want to excuse my english. I'm a german fellow Maybe I will ramble a little bit but I hope that you will get the gist. I'm a 25 years old male from Germany who has suffered from OCD since I was approximately 3-4 years old. Basically my first memories evolve OCD. Sounds not untypical doesn't it? The reason I'm worried and want your opinion on my case is the very early onset of the OCD. I have read that OCD CAN start very early. But looking back, I wonder if OCD alone can really be that aggressive and start that early on. Furthermore, I'm aware that I had a pretty severe sore throat and a cold a few times when I was around year 1,5- 2,5. I asked my mother about that. Don't know if it was step though. As i already said, my OCD started very early with symptoms "not-right feelings", touching, compulsions to get it right (staring left right left right and so on), extreme fear of losing my parents, praying, confessing and a lot more. Can't really tell if this can be still regarded as a "normal" OCD case but what surprises me is that it was pretty intense even early on. And of course it only got worse. I somehow managed to get through kindergarten but looking back now I was always a worrywart and even at that time couldn't just be "a kid anymore". In school my BDD started. It is an OCD spectrum disorder but I really haven't seen PANDAS cases with kids that developed BDD pretty early on as well. By the time of 7 or so I was already totally consumed by OCD and BDD. Was hyperaware of my looks, thought my eyes looked weird and ugly, tried to be in control of my looks, had all sort of weird obsession ( why am i attracted to woman/ why are bodyparts attractive/ do i really love my mother/ do i really like this and that/hypermorality/hyperresponsibility and 1000 more. And i am NOT exaggerating. I really had any f*** obsession you could ever have. It's crazy. I wanted to make a really long text but I realized now that it could be summarized as. Having extremely severe OCD since early childhood/ BDD since ahe 6 or 7/ derealization since age 8 or so. The derealization isn't always there but most of the time it is there, even if it is in the background. Having symptoms of executive dysfunction: I get stuck on concepts / thoughts and have a freakishly hard time to "update" my brain. I'm on Luvox 250 mg since 2 years and since I take it regularly and don't drink alcohol my OCD/BDD/derealization have really gotten much much better. 60-70 % improvement. It is really the first time in my life where I actually can enjoy some things and am not always totaly obsessed/fixated/surpressed by worries. Sorry, lots of ramble but I just had to get it out somehow. What is your take on the situation Love from Germany Sascha <3
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