DianeB

Thanks for your reply. Boy, if I had had a child who had tics I don't know what I would have done. I think that on top of everything I am a perfectionist and one trait that "drives me nuts" is when people or things keep on repeating something--patterning. And especially if it gets nowhere. My husband will channel surf between five channels and it drives me crazy. He wears the same clothes for days at a stretch and that drives me nuts. His son and father were the same way. They wear the same clothes for days---I am the total opposite. Work clothes, play clothes and evening leisurewear. Specific clothes for my sports that I participate in. Specific clothes that I do yard work in. These people would wear the same outfit in the morning and then wear it to a symphony in the evening. The psychologist I saw once to learn how to cope with his behavior was really discouraging to me. I was hoping she would tell me ways to get him over his issues, but it was all about me learning to get on with my own life...well, I kind of did, but then I felt as though I was only married to a paycheck and not a partner. I really want a partner in life. Not someone who needs constant supervision at home or it will all get messed up. To those of you who have Tourettes, how does your lifepartner cope with your issues?? How do you try to make it easier for them---or do you bother to work at it?? Are you sure this isn't just an attention getting thing?? Diane Diane

Hi everyone, I just joined this list because I am having a problem coping with my husbands' Tourette and OCD. I have to say that fortunately since he is a long haul truck driver he is not home but once every six weeks or so. His father passed away a couple of months age after a lengthy illness and now my husband is in contact with his mother who lives alone, more frequently. Of course I am the bad person because I identified my husbands' emotional problems and he is an only child. Now his mother is putting a bee in his bonnet about thinking about retiring (he is only 55). When he is home he is displaying a more vast array of disturbing behaviors--more than ever. There is nothing I can do short of never letting him come home, and I can't do that. I have made an appointment with a physician for when he comes home so maybe he can help me with a plan to make him work on making himself better. He has gained a lot of weight over the last ten years, but since his dads funeral he has gained 21 lbs and can no longer fit into the clothes he has at home. I am overwhelmed with his issues and am on the brink of filing for divorce. Everything seems to have escalated since his fathers' passing. I can't tell him not to contact his mother. She is 77 and lives alone. But he definitely is a momma's boy and does what she asks. And lies to me. In the meantime, I am going to re-enroll in college to pursue a nursing degree for MY future. I need some sort of support while I go through this difficult time. Oh let me explain what his tics are: he wriggles his nose constantly while he talks. But only to one side. And does this weird blinking thing. He has done it for so long and so often that his face is more developed on one side than the other. He makes this "hmm...hmmm...." noise in varying degrees of volume. He regurgitates his food and chews a cud. It's like chewing tobacco. It smells gross and is disgusting. He says this is all subconsciously done. He NEVER puts anything away in its place. Even if it is something he isn't intending to use. He just gets something out and puts it somewhere else!! Those traits are just for starters... He performs his job beautifully but when he's home everything goes to you know where... I believe this is hereditary because his son pulled out all of his own eyelashes and eyebrows. My husband also habitually pulls out his mustache hairs either by his hand or by chewing on it. I suspect that he does it to his eyebrows too. His personal grooming is going downhill since his fathers' passing. I don't think it is necessarily because of his father, but increased stress from his mother. And now his ex-wife is back in the picture. His mother says that she wants him to provide financially for his adult children who are in their late twenties and have children but never married their childrens fathers, and he says feels a lot of guilt because he was forced out of their picture when they were little. His ex-wife is supposedly very religious and has not remarried and resents that he did. My husband expresses his stress by displaying tics and depression... If you are overwhelmed by reading this, think about how I feel... Thanks for listening...Diane