Report ASperger's diagnosis in PANS / PANDAS (Lyme included) Posted March 16, 2010 Labels are so hard - you search and search so you know "what's wrong" but then the label itself can sometimes make things harder. You're supposed to correct/punish bad behavior, but if you know it's caused by PANDAS, the way you address the behavior can change. Likewise, I can imagine how hard it is to wonder how much of your child's approach to life you should accept/embrace and how much you should try to shape/modify. I'll say that my son's 1st grade teacher told me at the end of the school year, after the worst of things had passed, that there was a time she considered my son to be "asperger-like' and it was only after he started to get well that she began to think that maybe he didn't have asperger's. (The mice in the Columbia study also became "aspie"-like.) When he started 2nd grade and his teacher complained that my son was "too social" and he kept coming home talking about all of his friends, it was the happiest time for us. (he had zero friends in kindergarten and 1st grade). I'm not telling you to deny an asperger's diagnosis. I guess I'd just advise you to remember that labels and peoples' perceptions can change. So try to only focus on the things that cause your son distress or are completely inappropriate behaviors. When my son gets angry, my husband says something like "Don't get so angry". You can't tell someone how they should or shouldn't feel. So what I try to do is say the anger/feeling is ok. But it's the way that feeling gets expressed that can be right or wrong. We spent a lot of therapy talking about being responsible for actions and behaviors and owning those actions regardless of the disease that triggered them. So if he acts out, obviously that needs to be addressed regardless of cause. But if your son could care less if he's a lone wolf or if no one else shares his intense interests, then it might break your heart but probably isn't where you should put a lot of energy. I don't know if it would help, but you might want to browse a few books by Temple Grandin or Ten things Every Child with Autism wants you to Know - books to give you insight into your son's perspective on things. You might also want to check out autismone.org for their blogs and articles. Just like it helps us to hang out with other pandas parents, it can help to share experiences with other parents in the asperger's community. I'm often struck by how much the two communities have in common.