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Emi1432

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  1. Ok, last post. In January I believe I had strep throat, though I was never tested. Since then I've had recurring bouts of tinnitus and ear pain/itch, trouble breathing through nose, and sometimes (less frequently, though right now I have it) throat pain and/or slight itch. I didn't have a strict antibiotic treatment for PANDAS when I was a teenager, but OCD symptoms are basically non existent anymore and I;m about to start antipsychotics to deal with residual psychotic symptoms and anxiety. The problem is I'm not sure why I'm having these symptoms. I've checked anti D-Nasa B titers and it came back fine (104) and have had various throat cultures. I had a Sinus TC scan and had trouble breathing the day of the exam but it came back fine (it just said something about deviated septum which never bothered me before except when i was 13, which incidentally lines up with the PANDAS). I'm almost sure I don't have strep, and I sometimes symptoms disappear for a couple weeks, but I really have no clue what could be causing it and if it has anything to do with the fact I once had PANDAS.
  2. Ok, so I don't really have pandas anymore, but I remember I had this then and i still have it know. Sometimes when I try to sleep I find the bed really uncomfortable but even when I move it still bothers me. It's not only the bed, its also my clothes and everything I touch. Does anybody know what this is? Also, since the PANDAS started, I usually hold my throat whenever anxiety kicks in, because it starts to feel strange. Right now writing this I have the urge to hold it. When PANDAS started I also watched a tv show where a villain cut peoples throat open, but wanted to know if anyone had this and if it's not just a psychological trauma.
  3. I stopped taking sertraline, zyprexa and antibiotics after taking them for 3 years. I didn't follow a strict medication treatment, but I barely have PANDAS symptoms anymore (some psychotic symptoms and sometimes when sleeping my bed really bothers me). I've never been able to masturbate because nothing happens or I feel pain and I've never had a wet dream either. I know its a long shot someone here will help me since I know most people in the forum are probably focused on helping kids and I've never seen sexual problems arise from this, but it would really help if anyone knew what it might be.
  4. Thanks for responding, Well, yeah a big part of it is depersonalization, but that feeling went hand in hand with the delusion that nothing was really real. I do have a grasp on reality, but I also have strong skepticism and doubts about it. I know these types of disorders work on a spectrum so people with psychosis don't necessarily hallucinate or have strong delusions. The problem is that while I know PANDAS and anxiety disorders can cause psychotic symptoms, I also now know it can happen the other way around. While I used to be sure i had PANS, I started having doubts because the psychosis symptoms came before the PANS symptoms. I also don't really have OCD anymore save for a very small details that most of the time don't even bother me (only about once a month or couple of months). The reason I wrote in the forums is because I don't have basically any OCD symptoms anymore, only the psychotic ones remain. But I don't know what the root cause is, either delusions or OCD. On one hand, symptoms were more like PANDAS/PANS and the OCD got to extreme levels, but on the other, I'm sure my train of thought was similar to "the world isn't as it should be, my parents are not the ones I know" and that led me to start with rituals. I knwo things won't get better unless I find the correct treatment, and even if I know which one is the problem, I don't really know what treatment there is (when I took the medicine the OCD decreased a lot, but even then once in a while I'd have depersonalization and a weak capgras delusion, even when i took the olanzapine given to OCD patients). Sorry for being repetitive and a bit superfluous, but I wanted to try and be clear. When the depersonalization started there was a bit more than a feeling, even though the feeling was what really bothered me. Now I don't really have the belief as I used to, but with everything around me feeling not real theres always a strong doubt or skepticism that goes along with it.
  5. Most people with OCD start with their obsessions because of magical thinking. Some might believe that if they don't wash their hands someone will die. That's the gist of it. Other people with OCD have a just right reason for doing things. They just feel wrong and might start to feel anxiety. For me it was a mixture of both. There was some magical thinking but I couldn't quite pinpoint what it was, and I did a lot of the "rituals' because it just didn't feel right. Now that i know I have psychosis, I realize that my logic for starting the "rituals" was because the world didn't feel real. Everything around felt set up. And while the OCD has sort of resolved (another reason I believe I had PANS/PANDAS and not normal OCD) the feeling that everything around me is not real remains and has increased a lot.
  6. When i was 11 I got rapid onset OCD, the symptoms more closely relating PANDAS/PANS. It got really bad and I was committed into a hospital. At 15, I started taking antibiotics, Sertraline, and Olanzapine, and as expected, the OCD decreased. The problem is I was never properly diagnosed, and when i turned 18 I stopped taking medication (with doctors approval). After a while, psychotic symptoms returned, and after seeing various neuropsychologists, I was diagnosed with Psychosis. I know PANDAS and OCD in general can cause Psychotic symptoms, but after a couple sessions with my doctor, I realized I've had the psychotic symptoms long before I had OCD, and my magical thinking was more of a response to the psychotic feeling I had. For the first time I'm doubtful about me having had PANDAS (even though symptoms seemed more akin to it than normal OCD). I'm not sure if it was the antibiotics that helped or the olanzapine/sertraline. The problem is I don't know what to do, treat my psychosis, or PANDAS. I no longer have compulsions, but still... And on top of that, the sertraline caused some side effects that still affect me to this day (i am 20). It's strange because I'm pretty sure I did have PANS or PANDAS, but looking back, I started doing the OCD rituals because of what the psychosis made me feel, to cope with it. I don't know wether psychosis caused OCD or vice versa, so I'm hoping someone can help me out.
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