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GeeN

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  1. I have actually forgotten what it is like having fun for myself, especially on the internet. I am a stick in the mud. I am 33 going on 5...or even older. I would just like to be happy for one day and act as if there are no thoughts, no mood swings, no work to be done, and people just to talk to. I need to do a spring cleaning of my life. My thoughts come in different forms. They are thoughts not based on my real life, like the infidelity thoughts. I have no experience with cheating on someone or being cheated on. Thank goodness I don't. That will always be a mystery as to why exactly I have these thoughts. Then there are some obsessions that I have problem with, but they end up making my other obsessions worse in the long run, such as the obsession with Mexican actor Sergio Basanez. I confess that I have been obsessed with this man. It has gotten too much. I confess that I have obsessed with other men for years and some last a few days, and others last much longer. Sergio Basanez lasted two years. It is time for me to start concentrating on someone I will actually meet. It seemed a lot safer for me to obsess. But I realize that it has gotten too far. I allowed it to spiral out of control to a point where it criss-crossed wtih other obsessions like the one about infidelity. For example there is a scenario where I am married to him and I am cheating on him. There is another example where it can criss-cross as in the case of him not getting along with another actor. It is upsetting that he does not get along with someone else because it ruins the illusion that I have based on the obsessions. There is scrupulosity where I have the thoughts that "I am not saved", "You are not doing it right", "You are going to ######", etc. Those are the ones that attack what is very personal and are the most frigtening because eternal is what it is: forever and ever. Those are the most difficult to break out of because they are not based on things that are based on fables. But they are based on truth, on fact. Then there are the ones that are exaggerated and are based on life events. I was teased when I was younger and those obsessions have brought on guilt and bitterness. I have become more compassionate yet angry at the same times. When I hear someone make a rude comment or make fun of somebody. Anything that triggers something about the past is upsetting to me. Then there are obsessions that don't have any of these effects, though they are not of any concern like racism. It doesn't take over or upset me. Then there are those that are not upsetting or cause any concern but they did in the past. The one about the end of the world are one of those things. I am now in therapy and taking medication. I have taken medications for depression, bipolar, and anxiety over the years. I have taken Wellbutrin, Lithium, Paxil, Lamictal, Risperdal, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, BuSpar, Tegretol, etc. I wonder if the rest of you can relate. I have even thought or wondered if I could be schizophrenic or have aspberger. But I have been diagnosed as having GAD, Bipolar, Depression, and OCD over the years. I have even been hospitalized twice over the years. Because of my illness, I have been teased, laughed at, considered "weird" or "crazy" by others, and have had to change schools once because my counselor thought I wasn't getting any better. I recognized all of this when I went to college at 17 when I first began to not remember other people's names. It has affected life in college, life in high school, my grades. I have difficulty focusing at times. Talking about them helps. I was wondering if diet play a role in the severity of mood swings and obsessive thoughts. I was also wondering if stress play a role. How do I begin to change my ways?
  2. I don't know what Myron meant by, "a woman who slept with everybody at the post office but me" because I don't know the whole story, Myron's writing and how he felt about those kind of situations. It could be literal, it could be to make the woman look like she slept with a lot of men, it could be making the point that he was hurt because the woman did not think well enough of him to include him in the "group", that the woman was deliberately performing an important personal act to exclude him on the personal level. Could something like that be a reaction to a person's anger because his wife slept with multiple partners at the post office? How could it be literally sleep with everyone at the post office? What "group" do you mean? Like swingers? I don't understand. I don't also understand what you mean by performing something personal to exclude him on a personal level? Why would someone do that? Could it be possible for someone to say that even if they only slept with four people and for someone to say that literally, if it is true, doing something at the post office with everyone but him on a personal level. I really don't understand what you mean?
  3. Do most people with OCD obsess about things that do not occur in their own lives? Infidelity has not happened in my life or in the lives of those closest to me as far as I know. So it is a mystery that I have this. I know that what I read does not seem to matter in the scheme of things because I am not doing these things, but it has become an unwelcome part of my life for nearly a year now. Anyways, why does the OCD attach itself to certain areas that have nothing to do with my life and sometimes areas that have to do with my life like religion?
  4. Hi, I have had this problem for nearly a year now. It started exactly on December 16, 2006. I have to remind you that I tended to avoid the subject of infidelity namely women committing infidelity. It has nothing to do with my life and I hate double standards. I know that women cheat and so do men. But as of the last 11 months, I have had thoughts about women who mistreat their husbands, disrespect on them, and cheat on them with many men. It isn't a common story of a man who cheats on his wife with another woman, a woman who is a sex addict, a man who is a philanderer or womanizer or an unhappy, bored, lonely housewife who has one or a few men who she sleeps with. I am talking about women who sleep with entire towns, entire villages, women who don't care, evil, selfish women who have good, faithful husbands who they treat poorly and don't appreciate what they have and rather have sex with a large number of other men, who are usually no good. My fear is that I will read, hear, or have an encounter in real life with such a woman. These promiscuous woman are not just women who love sex, adventure, prostitutes, sex addicts, or women with low selfesteem, self worth issues, swingers, alcoholics, or drug users, or porn stars. My guess is that women such as the first group of women I have described are in the minority unlike the bored, lonely, frustrated, or unhappy housewife who cheats with another man or two. It is worrisome to me. I wonder how many men she has slept with, why she cheated, how does she really feel about the husband, how does she feel about the other man, what will be end result of the marriage or divorce, what kind of woman she is, is she troubled, why she married him. What does sleep with an entire town mean? half of a basketball team? What is her view of the concept of marriage? Is she sleeping with everybody but her husband? Does she hate her husband? Did she cheat because she does not love her husband or want to hurt him? The OCD says that these women are worse than whores. Adulterous women are unredeemable b*****, tramps, sluts. These women are trash and deserve whatever bad thing they get. They don't love their husbands. These sluts don't even love or respect themselves. The more men she sleep with, the worse the human being she is. She should not be forgiven for she is the lowest of the low. How could that tramp do what she does? Has she no soul? Has she no conscious? I cannot believe that there are women like that. Women are fools. It is like the OCD is a mysoginist. But my view is that every marriage and every person, men and women are different. I believe that some are just plain stupid or simple minded. It is frustrating that one has a good man and should be appreciative and work on their marriages. I suspect that most of these women loved their husbands and married him for love and security. She respected her husband and married him thinking that this guy would be the one. Women who are adulterous are mostly troubled women who have issues that they should discuss with their husbands or a counselors. They fail to realize that the other man or men are not worth any added trouble. If you have a problem, seek help. While these women are mostly not evil, infidelity is. It is deceitful, troublesome, selfish, and disrespectful. There is no justification for infidelity. It is a betrayal and it is painful. Does it mean that just because a woman committed infidelity that she does not love or respect her husband? No, but the act itself says otherwise and it is a symptom to much greater problems. Women who commit adultery can be redeemed. I also suspect that most of these women are not whores in the worse possible sense, overtly promiscuous, disrespect their partners otherwise, or intentionally (which they are). I tend to want answers and OCD attaches itself to specific stories that would not bother me otherwise. Some scenarios are not as bothersome as others. I have to know the answers to everything. I would like to know if there is anyone else who has this very same issue. I am not in a relationship, yet I have these thoughts about adultery. I have not cheated, nor have been cheated on.
  5. Yesterday, I went to see my therapist and the session was rather so so. It was either the same things over and over or that I am not a good listener. I have got to be a better listener and also I have to be on top of things as far as my mindset goes. I have to take what I read with a grain of salt before I allow my thoughts and my compulsions to drive me crazy. There were times when I was in fear, felt hopeless, or had thoughts that brought so many tears. Since my obsessive thoughts center around infidelity, should I look into the mind of the cheater to calm down my thoughts? Should I not do research and then try to see things from the cheater's point of view? Imagine that I was the cheater. What would I do in a situation? Say I was myself sleep with a lot of men. What would my husband look like? Who would my children be? How many partners would I have? What would be the result of my infidelity (ies)? Would they be one affair, or would there be many brief affairs or one night stands, or a couple of flings here and there? Would I get caught? Would I eventually divorce? Why would I cheat? Should I create a scenario on my own in the hopes that I would understand what I am obsessing about? After all, the mind tends to work itself out in each scenario that I read or obsess about. I didn't spend so much time on the computer. I went to sleep in the afternoon, but my naps take a long time. I am doing better now. But I had the thoughts about a woman who was in love with and obsessed with her abusive ex-husband only to get back together years later before his death. She takes care of him and also he becomes more complimentary of her. I do not excuse her part in the marriage for what she did was the reason for the divorce. But I won't excuse what he did. He was narcissitic, emotionally, verbally, distant, cold, and physically abusive. In response to his cruelty, and in her desperation for her husband and for frustration and loneliness, she carries on numerous affairs with students, comrades, and a myriad of others. He finds out and humiliates her in court about her innumerable affairs, but she still holds a torch for him after all of that. She then marries again, but still thinks about her ex. I was wondering, how many affairs would be considered numerous? More than 3, more than 4, 5, 6? I would consider more than 3 affairs numerous. How about innumerable? More than 8, 9, 10? I was just wondering. I need to change my mindset.
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