Hi all, i dont want a diagnosis, because i realise that would probably be impossible with out meeting me.
I've always known that im weird lol, but recently i've started to want a reason for it, so did some research on the net, and came across OCD. Up till when i read about it, I'd always thought it was a very serious thing - all about counting , and numbers of steps etc. (Like Nicholas Cage's character in Matchstick Men. But when i got reading, i found that I have a lot of the symptoms. I dont think i have any obsessions - i never have sexual thoughts, or violent thoughts etc, but i do have a few of the compulsions. Ive read that in order to be diagnosed with OCD, these compulsions should take at least 1 hour every day. Im not sure mine do, but thats because they only take about 3 seconds each lol. I would have to do them tousands of times a day for them to take up a whole hour. Anyway, the weird things that i do are:
1. The main compulsion is to do with symmetry, in that if i scuff one foot, i have to scuff my second foot in the exact same place, with the exact same strength. If I scuff the second foot even the slightest bit harder, i then have to scuff the first foot again, to even up the strength of the scuffs. The symmetry theme also occurs, say if i bang my hand on a wall, i then have to bang my other hand (sam place, same power).
2. Secondly, (i actually only realised i did this after reading someone else's post), I dont like touching metal, or money because i dont want my hand smelling of it. Eg on a bus, when it comes to my stop, and i walk to the fron of the bus when it's stopping, i hate holding onto the bar, as it really smells of metal. Same with coins. If i cant wash my hands there and then, i wipe them on my trousers.
3. Thirdly, i say th following prayer/phrase, (as im not actually praying) at least 25 times a day, whether i whisper or say it in my head. "Thank you so much for my life Lord, thankyou, Amen." I am a christian, and i do pray, but when i say this im not actually praying, im just saying it because i cant help it. Sometimes, i find it very difficult to read a book. It get to the end of the page, and realise i haven't taken anything in - my eyes have followed the words, but ive just been saying the phrase repeatedly lol. It annoys me, so i put the book down, and aim to say the phrase 'once and for all', so that i can then carry on reading, which usually works. Part way throught 'the phrase', (before i s ay amen, which is said sharply, whilst exhaling air from my nose', i do a little thing - i blink once, nod sharply, blink again and then exhale/say amen. This is REALLY weird lol. Havnt got a clue when it started.
4. I think i read somewhere that nail biting is a symptom. I'm not sure if it is or not, but i do bite my nails alot, and also the skin around my nails. I recently started to bite the knuckle of my middle finger on my right hand - ther's actually a scar there now. I also bite the skin on the side of my left and right pointing fingers, level with the knuckles.
5. Fifthly, when using the computer, i lift the mouse up, move it slightly forwards, tap the front bit a couple of times, put it down again, and click the left mouse button. I then move the mouse backwards. I have to do this over and over again, until i move the mouse backwards, and it 'feels right.' (I cant really explain the feeling). I also used to have to do this while playing on the playstation. I would have to pause the game, put the controller down, then pick up the tv remote, and do the same 'mouse routine', until it felt right. I think i was about 11 then.
6. I often find my self making mental lists. Eg the night before school, i work out what time i should get up, by working out when ive got to leave, and how long it would take to do certain things. i.e. 15 mins shower, 5 mins to get dressed, 10 mins breakfast etc.
Ive got to go now, but if anyone could tell me if these are enough symptoms to be diagnosed with OCD, that would be great. If i think of any more symptoms i have, ill add them. Thanks again, Luke.