And If You Want To Eliminate All The Challenges And Frustration That Can Come From Your Child's Unwanted Behavior, REGARDLESS Of Mistakes You've Made In The Past…. Then This Will Be The Most Important Letter You'll Ever Read…
I have some important questions for you. Think carefully as you answer them…
If you answered “YES” to any of these questions, then I have some important news for you…
The news is that you're NOT alone. In fact, this list was created by me listening to literally hundreds of parents about the problems they were facing as they raised their children.
It's a fact: Children misbehave sometimes. And very often parents struggle with how to handle it.
Nearly all parents have had the experience of feeling frustrated with how their child is behaving, trying something to change the behavior, and then watching the behavior stay the same or even get worse.
And what makes it all the more frustrating is that no matter what you do, it doesn't seem to make ANY LASTING DIFFERENCE AT ALL!
This can make you feel helpless about ever being able to enjoy parenting again.
But is that the REAL truth?
Can you, as a parent, do something that will actually make a difference and bring about better behavior in your child?
Are you doomed to a life of power struggles, tantrums, disobedience, and talking back?
Is there any hope?
When your child is misbehaving, it feels awful. But an even worse feeling is NOT KNOWING WHY.
Of course, other people's opinions about this aren't very helpful…
They'll usually make blanket generalizations that make you feel defensive. They'll say contradictory things too, like…
But I'll let you in on a couple of secrets…the first of which you might already know:
Trust me on this. In my years as an elementary school teacher I worked with hundreds of children…and while some children took longer to change their behaviors than others, all the kids who changed their behavior were happier once they did.
Why? Because they weren't getting in trouble anymore! They felt good about what they doing and what they were getting done. They had a better relationship with the other kids in the classroom and their relationship with me as their teacher was better too.
It's embarrassing to admit that I used to believe in some of those blanket statements I mentioned above. I used to believe that a boy would be more rowdy in class just because he was a boy. I used it as an excuse for bad behavior, but that didn't help me solve the problem of misbehavior…
Boys do not misbehave because they're boys. Girls do not misbehave because they're girls.
So why do some kids misbehave and other kids BEHAVE LIKE ANGELS?
Let me let you in on another little secret…
Here's what I've discovered…
The short reason for why your child is misbehaving is because her needs are not getting met…
I'm not talking about needing a new bike, or needing a new video game. I'm talking about core needs for understanding, respect, being heard, feeling safe, independence, and other important human needs that we ALL have - even as adults.
When kids feel like their needs are going unheard or unmet, they will do whatever they can (like we do as adults) to get them met and express their feelings. (Kids don't usually censor their feelings like most adults do.)
So when kids are misbehaving, they're just doing the best that they can to try to meet these important needs of theirs. Even not wanting to get dressed in the morning is usually coming from an attempt to get a need for independence met.
They're trying to have some control of what happens in their lives and it comes out in the form of what looks to US like misbehavior. Kids don't have lots of resources and ideas for how to get what they want, so they do what they know how to do: they yell, they say NO, they cry, they whine, they stomp their feet.
So what can you do to help your child stop whining, stomping feet, and throwing tantrums?
Behavior charts are intended to help kids learn alternatives to their current bad habits. Instead of whining, your child can practice and learn to speak with their normal voice when they want something or are expressing an opinion.
But using behavior charts isn't always a piece of cake. There are pitfalls that you have to watch out for. Below are five of the most common mistakes I see parents making when they're using behavior charts.
Are you making any of them?
Through my research and personal experience, I've found that these mistakes prevent parents from seeing their child's behavior improve. If you can avoid these behavior chart mistakes, you'll be in much better shape...
Don't be fooled by their appearance: While behavior charts can LOOK very basic and elementary, they are actually a little complicated. I don't say this to scare you. Making cookies without a recipe can seem complicated too, even if you know the ingredients that are supposed to be in them.
But if you follow the instructions for using behavior charts that I've put together Behavior Charts to the Rescue you'll have the recipe.
I can't tell you how many parents have started using behavior charts without having any guidance and without reading any details about how to use them. Then in a few days they give up on the charts and declare, “Behavior charts don't work!”
Don't be like those parents…
Even if you have a general idea about how behavior charts work and can be used, don't stop there. There is much more to being successful with behavior charts than just putting a sticker on the chart every now and then.
Remember, the charts may look simple and cute, but there is more to making them work effectively than you probably realize.
For instance: Did you know that it's possible to select the wrong behavior chart to use with your child? Yep. Not all charts will work for all kids. In the manual, you’ll learn how to choose the right chart for your child.
Not knowing about the Pygmalion effect (and using it to your advantage) is one of the biggest downfalls parents make when using behavior charts with their kids.
So what is the Pygmalion effect?
In a nutshell, it states that children who are expected to do well and are seen as good kids, perform and behave better. Kids who are expected to do poorly or are seen as “bad kids” will behave worse.
Not rocket science, right? But it's so powerful!
This was discovered when teachers were given a fresh class of students and were told that the new kids were all smart and well-behaved.
Guess what? They were actually the kids who other teachers had labeled as problem kids, but because the new teacher SAW THEM AS GOOD KIDS, she treated them with respect and expected great things out of them. The kids followed suit and became some of the best behaved kids in the school.
In fact, their progress DOUBLED in one school year.Why is this important for you to pay attention as a parent? Because when your child has been misbehaving over and over, you can start to feel frustrated and irritated with your child. You may start to see him as a child who is out of control, undisciplined, rude, etc.
But seeing your child that way is only going to make things worse. In order to affect change with your child, you need to start applying the Pygmalion effect. Find the inherent goodness in your child and treat your child as if they are star children. It may feel like pretending in the beginning, but that star child is in there, waiting for you to recognize her.
Yes, your child is misbehaving. But you need to stop seeing your child as a bad kid or a kid who is defiant, rude, or out of control. In order for the behavior charts to work, you have to be on the same team as your child. And if you're seeing him as the bad one, that makes the playing field unbalanced.
In this manual, I'll also tell you about two more effects that can double and even TRIPLE the speed and effectiveness of the Pygmalion effect when you use them together.
I know, I know. Of course you want your child to be good. But wanting your child to be good rarely leads to it actually happening. After all, you've been wanting your child to be good this whole time and it hasn't happened to your satisfaction yet, right? You're still dealing with behaviors that you don't like.
It's not that a good child isn't an acceptable thing to want. It totally fine to want your child to be good. But you also need to start thinking in terms of what actually works to get the results that you want.
Think about this…
Can you imagine what would happen if you went into a real estate agent's office and when she asked you what kind of house you were looking for, you told her, “We're looking for a ‘good’ house?
”The realtor would have no idea what kind of house you're actually looking for. “Good” is just an open-ended description. So she wouldn't know whether you thought 4 bedrooms was good or 1 bedroom was good. Or a house downtown vs. a house in the mountains on five acres.
So if you were buying a house and wanted to get the house that you really wanted, you'd be specific and say things like, “I want a 4 bedroom, 3 bath house with a fence and an island kitchen. I want it to be away from busy roads. And I want the house to have hardwood floors downstairs.
”You can probably see how this applies to you and your child now…
Wanting your child to be good is just too generic and broad. It doesn't give you or your child any indication of what specifically you're looking for.
When you're using behavior charts with your child, you MUST BE SPECIFIC with the behavior that you want. If you're too broad or generic you and your child will BOTH be frustrated.
Have you ever heard that if you put a frog in cold water and put it on the stove and turn the burner on high that eventually the frog will just die in there? Even when the water starts boiling, the frog won't jump out.
But if you put a frog in a pot of water that is already boiling, the frog will instantly try to jump back out.
Why doesn't the first frog jump out of the slowly heating pot of water? Because it comes on gradually and the frog gets acclimated to the temperature as it rises.
This is probably a lot like what you experience with the resentment and frustration that you're dealing with in your home. And just like the frog in that pot, you're slowly killing yourself by getting accustomed to all the resentment and frustration that are building up inside of you.
In order to shift this so that you take better care of yourself and your child, you need to start doing something to reverse all the resentment.
One great approach for this is to start with gratitude.
You may have heard about people keeping “gratitude journals,” where you write down 5 things you're grateful for each night before bed. I've done that before and it can be a really nice thing to do…
But when you're dealing with difficult behaviors in your child, the gratitude journal that you need to keep is more specific. This gratitude journal is only about your child and it's only about things you appreciate about him.
This may feel like pulling teeth in the beginning. It may be really hard to look back and find something from earlier in the day that you appreciate about your child, but the harder it is for you to do it, the more you need it. Believe me.
When I was teaching 3rd grade, I would force myself to find things that I was grateful for related to the kids who misbehaved the most. It really helped me with the Pygmalion effect that I mentioned above.
Do this STARTING TODAY. Even if you do nothing else and you never even use a behavior chart…start writing down 5 things each day that you appreciate about your child. Don't just think about them. Take two minutes to actually write them down. This little action - although it may feel awkward at first - will make a huge difference in your relationship with your child.
One of my 3rd graders used to run in the hallways. Naturally, I would tell him, “Charles, don't run in the hallway.” Did he listen to me? Yes. He stopped running - and then guess what he did…
He started skipping!
After seeing this, I realized that it wasn't his fault that he was skipping in the hallway. He was following my instructions perfectly. He stopped running. That's all I had requested of him when I said, “Don't run in the hallway.”
This interaction made it crystal clear to me that if we want children to have better behavior, we have to tell them exactly what we DO WANT TO SEE THEM DOING.
It's hard to stop a familiar behavior if we don't have something else to do instead. So it's not enough that you tell your child what you don't want him to do. You have to focus on what you DO want him to do.
With Charles, I started him on a behavior chart that afternoon and at the top of the chart, it said, “Walk in the hallways.” Each time I saw that he walked in the hallways, he would get to mark his chart. It wasn't long before he was walking calmly in line with the rest of the class and we were able to discontinue the behavior chart.
Did you get some good ideas from those mistakes above? I hope so because they're powerful tips and techniques that can make your use of behavior charts more effective than they've ever been for you before…
I'd be wondering the same thing if I were you. So let me tell you a little bit about myself…
All my life I knew that I wanted to be a teacher. So when I graduated high school, there was no question about what I was going to study in college. After I graduated from the University of South Florida with my degree in Elementary Education, I couldn't wait to get started for my first year of teaching.
But my college classes couldn't possibly have prepared me for being in a room filled with 33 seven- and eight-year-olds who all had their own personalities, strengths, weaknesses, and tendencies.
After the first week, I knew there were going to be some kids who would need some extra assistance in staying on task and managing their behaviors so that they and the rest of the class could learn without interruption.
So I started using behavior charts to keep track of the new behaviors we wanted to work on, but because there weren't any comprehensive books out there about how to use behavior charts successfully, I started my own process of trial and error.
It took patience and perseverance, but finally I discovered what worked and what didn't. Pretty soon, everyone was moving along smoothly in my class, and even the kids who struggled with their behavior the previous year were starting to feel more in control of themselves and proud of their accomplishments.
Other teachers and staff often complimented my students as they were walking in the hallways. If a staff member walked through our classroom unannounced in the middle of the day they would comment about how great it was to see that all the kids were on-task and working together.
Parents with kids in lower grades would put in special requests to the principal in an attempt to get their kids into my class because they heard about how much success the kids coming out of my classes had.
My use of behavior charts when they were appropriate had a lot to do with the praise and reputation that I got over the years. Thanks to the behavior charts, my “problem kids” stopped being problem kids and we all got to enjoy the school year together.
So, since 1997, I've been using behavior charts and helping others implement them successfully with their children and students. In that time, I've figured out what works and what doesn't work in the real world. I've discovered what makes behavior charts difficult to use and how to make them easy to use.
I did it out of desperation and necessity - with a first-year class of 33 students, it was essential that I nip the bad behavior in the bud so that everyone (including the students who were misbehaving) could have an equal chance to be happy, have fun, and learn.
I know that you want to make a difference in your child's behavior and in the quality of your home life too. That's why you're reading this right now…
Something has to be done about the behaviors you're dealing with at home. You know that you owe it to yourself, your misbehaving child, and anyone else who lives at home with you to figure out a way to coexist together peacefully and enjoy each other's company with mutual respect, love, and understanding…
And you're willing to give behavior charts a chance because you know that I'm going to be guiding you through it with this practical manual: Behavior Charts To The Rescue.
There are oodles of books out there on how to deal with behaviors that you don't like and books on discipline and theories about how to be better parents, but in my research, I haven't found any resources that gave detailed instructions about how parents can use behavior charts as a way to get better behavior.
And of the books that I DID FIND on behavior modification (a fancy way of saying “behavior change”), some of them cost over $100.00! Why? Because they were psychology textbooks with very scientific approaches that would probably be difficult (and boring!) to read through. I even found one book that had close to 700 pages. Ugh.
I know you don't have time to read through 700 pages of psychology jargon…
And you've already read other books on parenting that gave you plenty of theories but not a lot of practical things that you could grab onto and start using easily…
So when I wrote Behavior Charts To The Rescue, I included only the most essential information about using behavior charts (with no fluff or advertisements) into 39 easy-to-read pages that would help you and other parents…
So this manual that I've put together, Behavior Charts to the Rescue, gives you all the essential information about using behavior charts with none of the fluff, jargon, or complicated psychology…
In fact, at this writing, it appears to be the first and only book out there specifically designed to teach parents how to use behavior charts effectively at home.
While this manual is full of powerful information that will make using behavior charts so much easier for you, there are certain things that this manual absolutely will not do, so it's important that you know these things about the manual…
So now that we've reviewed what's NOT going to happen when you read the manual, here are some of the goodies that you WILL find when you read the book…
This manual is intended for parents and caretakers of of kids 4-10 who want improve their children's behavior using behavior charts. If you're not sure if this manual is for you, check out this list below and see if you recognize yourself in the descriptions.
You need this book…
While this manual can help most parents who are dealing with behavior issues from their 4-10 year old, there are some parents who will not benefit from reading this manual…
As I mentioned earlier, there are almost NO BOOKS on how to use behavior charts effectively in your home…
Are there books on behavior modification? Yes. And most of them are actually college textbooks that are 400-700 pages long, over $100.00, and filled with scientific theories and jargon that would make your head spin.
This manual, on the other hand, was created by an elementary school teacher. I had to find my way through the challenges of using behavior charts with my students and can now share my discoveries with you so that you don't have to make the same mistakes I did.
I would have LOVED to have come across a manual like this when I was first figuring out how to use behavior charts. But because there wasn't one, I had to teach myself. Now that I've figured it out, I get to share it with you.
While other books on parenting and discipline may suggest using a behavior chart to track new behaviors with your child, they don't tell you what to expect or avoid when you're doing that…
This manual, Behavior Charts to the Rescue is focused entirely on using behavior charts successfully in your home. This means that the information won't be watered down by tons of other ideas and methods.
When I was creating this manual I wanted it to be easy to read, easy to understand, and full of ideas that are easy to implement. This manual is an INSTANT DOWNLOAD that you'll be able to start reading immediately after you order.
This manual will also give you the full picture about what it takes to make behavior charts work in your home. You won't get just half the story and be left in the lurch not knowing what to do next.
When you invest in this eBook right now, you'll get a helpful poster that I've created to make getting good behavior from your kids even EASIER. You'll also get immediate access to download 10 easy-to-use behavior charts.
BONUS #1: In this PDF poster “104 Ways to Praise Your Kid,” I give you 104 specific things you can say to your child to inspire him or her to make better choices with their behavior. It’s all about positive reinforcement!
BONUS #2: You'll receive 10 unique behavior charts to use with your kids right away. You’ll be able to download and print them off immediately to start using with your kids to get better behavior at home.
Both of these bonuses were created exclusively for owners of the Behavior Charts to the Rescue manual and can not be found anywhere else online.
When you click on the order button below, you'll go to a secure order page where you can put in your credit card information. (You can also use your PayPal account if you already have one.)
When you use the secure ordering page online, you can then immediately download the manual as an Adobe Acrobat PDF. (Most computers come with this pre-installed so you won't have trouble opening it.)
Your transaction is totally secure: Using a secure server, your information is transmitted using the latest SSL encryption technology to ensure complete and total privacy and security.
The transaction will be billed to your card or PayPal account as “LATITUDES.”
The whole process of ordering takes just a few minutes and you'll be reading your eBook in about 5 minutes.
There's no way that I would be telling you about this manual if I didn't think it would give you exactly what you need to understand how to use behavior charts effectively in your home.
In fact, I haven't found a better resource than this one that has instructions for using behavior charts at home...
What if this knowledge in the manual helps you address just ONE of the challenging behaviors that you're dealing with from your child? Just ONE.
Or what if it helped you understand your child better so that you could PREVENT THE MISBEHAVIOR before it even became an issue in the first place?
What if there's even a chance that this book could actually teach you how to use behavior charts to bring about better behavior in your child?
What if you really CAN get your child to stop doing those things that drive you crazy and stress you out? What if you really can have a more respectful child?
How much would that be worth to you? For most parents I know, it would be priceless.
Just the POSSIBILITY of having the ability to stop your child's disrespectful behavior (backtalk, whining, defiance) and change your child's bad attitude would be worth whatever it took.
Isn’t it time to get this area of your life IN CONTROL and learn what works so that you can make the best use of your time, energy, and attention?
I have one final thought to share with you…
After researching human behavior for many years, I know one thing…
If you don't make the decision to get this part of your life handled right now, there's a very, very small chance that you're ever going to do anything about it in the future…
And there's a very good chance that you'll be stuck dealing with the same behavior issues from your child for years to come…
The question is...are you finally ready to do something about it?
This is possibly the most important investment you could make right now toward your child's future and for the sanity of your family.
It's so important that you get your child's behavior issues under control NOW before they get worse and become more and more difficult to change.
This book may have the one exact piece of advice you need, but I want you to be absolutely sure that it's got what you're looking for. That's why I'M NOT GOING TO ASK YOU TO PAY FOR IT until you've had a chance to read it and see for yourself with your own eyes what it can do for you.
When you click on the button below, you'll be taken to a secure order page where you can download the book for FREE right now (just use a valid credit card or your PayPal account... you won't be charged for a full 7 days).
Read the book from cover to cover and you'll find strategies you can use RIGHT AWAY to start getting better behavior from your child. I promise.
Take 7 days to read the book and start applying the techniques you learn.
If, after you've read the book, you decide that it's not for you...or you didn't find any useful information in it for your situation, simply reply to the email confirmation you'll receive when you download your copy of the book, write "cancel" in your message before the 7th day.
If you'd like to keep the book, you don't need to do anything further. Your credit card or Paypal account will automatically be billed—but not before you've had 7 FULL DAYS to use the material.
I truly want to help you get the respect and good behavior you deserve from your child. I get emails every day from parents who are using these materials to DRAMATICALLY improve their children's behavior, and I want to help you, too.
Click on the button below to download Behavior Charts To The Rescue for your 7-day free trial:
I'll talk to you again soon…
P.S. Sadly, many parents will continue raising their children without knowing how to use behavior charts properly, and without realizing that their situation isn't hopeless. I don't want you to be one of them. This manual will show you exactly how to use the behavior charts so that you have the best chance of successfully changing your child's behaviors from ones you don't like to ones that you do like.
P.P.S. Every tip, strategy, and technique that I share with you in this book is a PROVEN winner. I use every one of them personally in real-world situations, and I know that they can work for you, too. Remember, you have a 100% satisfaction guarantee - if you're not happy, YOU DON'T PAY. This is truly a 100% risk- free offer.
"I just want to say that I love your ideas and you have helped me begin to turn things around already. I look at things in another perspective and sometimes we just need someone to tell us something to realize things that we already know but forget in our busy stressful lives. Thanks again I feel like my days are getting better and better." - C.H.
"Thank you so much for the wise and strategic ways of dealing with a child’s behavior. Thus far I have used one of your ideas with my misbehaving child, and it has yielded very good relations between us for the previous consecutive two weeks, something that was not happening for the past one and a half years since he started misbehaving. Thank you so much!!!" - M.M.
"Thank you for your encouraging, soul-inspiring words. I really appreciate the e-mails and resources I receive from you. Your ideas are so closely linked to my beliefs. Your advice this week has helped me to practically apply one of the principles in my own life with my beautiful children who truly only deserve praise, encouragement and positive comments from me. Have a wonderful day!" - N.F.
"Just reading your email has calmed me down. I thought I was the only parent going through this! With 3 boys running around, it's very stressful so I thank you for the advice." - L.M.
"Thank you so much. I have read most of your book and am very excited. We have 7 children, and thought at this point I might have this stuff down, but our 5 year old twins are giving us a run for our money. Thank you for your help. We appreciate it!" - W.C.
"I enjoyed our discussion about [behavior] charts and how to use them for my youngest son, Sean. We've been using a chart with 5 connect the dots. He has completed about 3 charts and the results are great! The whining has almost completely disappeared. Only a few times, usually when he's tired, do I have to remind him. Thanks so much!!" - D.F.
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