Year 4 – a look back
Every year I have posted a list of reflections, things I have learned through the previous year’s fight and struggles. I have found that each year it has helped me to be able to reflect on how far we have come, as well as to revisit the previous year’s reflections to keep perspective on where we have been.
I have found it helpful to even look back at each year's post to see just how far we've come - Our First year: http://latitudes.org...topic=12108&hl=
And here are my reflections for the 4th year of our journey:
- I have often dreamed of “life after PANDAS”, I learned that there is no such thing. While my children are well on their road to full recovery, our lives have forever been altered by PANDAS, and there will never be a day where PANDAS does not cross our minds, or lips.
- While knowing that “life after PANDAS” is a fantasy, I learned that I can use the impact PANDAS has made on our family to help others by sharing our story, experiences and support to those who have come after us. Hopefully, they will not take 4 years to find the healing we have this year.
- I learned that fear may cause us to doubt our best instincts, but the support of kind strangers who have become “virtual” friends over the years, those fears can be conquered.
- I’ve also learned that the unwavering support and advice of those friends can only carry me so far. I am their mommy, and only I can decide what is best for my children, no matter what anyone else says, even with the best of intentions. Our instincts as parents – no mater how scary - are still the best weapon we have to help our children.
- I learned that even the most fierce mommy advocate can get it wrong sometimes too – IVIG has been a game changer for my kids, and I regret being too afraid to try it for my son sooner.
- I learned to never underestimate PANDAS – just when you think you have it “under control” – it pulls the rug out from under you. Again.
- I learned that as we travel farther down the path to recovery, the setbacks seem greater – even though they are comparatively minor compared to the ###### through which we had previously passed.
- I learned that even after living with this for 4 years, even those seemingly minor setbacks will still break your heart all over again.
- I learned that I am not the same person I was 4 years ago when I started this journey. The hopes, dreams and goals I had for myself, and my family, back then are hardly recognizable to me anymore.
- I’ve learned to embrace the woman I am now, and realize the hopes, dreams and goals I have now, while different, do not represent a failure of what I envisioned for my life, but a growth that comes from naturally giving yourself over to your family, and God, in ways those who don’t face challenges may never understand.
- t_mom, philamom, mama2alex and 11 others like this