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Just wanted to share something about my mother in law


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OMG- I started reading your post, and could barely get through it- making me nauseous! I have no advice to give you, other than maybe you could go out to dinner, or have her over, rather than eating there. Yucko.

 

Just as a note from an ocd parent, however- it is important to keep things "reasonable" and real. In our house we TYPICALLY do not share foods, we don't double dip, etc- BUT we will occasionally ie- someone gets an icecream cone, another of us will taste it. Someone has a drink out, another may take a sip. We do not do this with a cold. BUT- for us, with two ocd kids it is really important to be REASONABLE about germs, and not make a big deal of it. At therapy for ocd, our awesome therapist had dropped an M&M on the floor of his office. My daughter said- Yuck!- he said that is no big deal and he ate it. (she is not really ocd about germs, but she could go that way, and has in the past) Then they discussed it a little, and he threw an M&M on the floor and kinda stepped on it with his shoe and ate it. Is this extreme- yea a little- but the reality is germs are everywhere, and while we should take reasonable steps to prevent them- we also need to relax.

 

THis is NOT IN ANY WAY meant to be addressing your MIL- that is gross- she is an adult and should know better. I just like to throw out there that the BEST policy (esp in a house where ocd lives) is to be RELAXED and allow the occasional ice cream share, or whatever.

 

(I, personally, have become A LOT more germaphobic since my kids got pandas- but I hold it ALL inside......)

 

Yes..I have become more of a germaphobe ever since my son has had his big pandas reaction. I now have the ocd and anxiety, I guess, because I don't want him to get something horrible. I am pretty afraid that I am passing on my fear of him getting sick from other people's mouths. I was more relaxed in the past, even though I would find some things gross, but now, I find myself being so aware....so acutely aware...of things like other people's coughs, throat clearing, phlegm, people touching money or sneezing into their hands and then holding some piece of food and then offering it to my son.... that kind of stuff.

 

Your therapist had a good point about the m&m on the floor, but not the one that was squished by his foot, bc our shoes carry so much stuff around. Even my ds's former pediatrician used to freak out when kids would put their shoes up on a chair, bc she said that the bottom of our shoes have all sorts of bacteria and disease carrying stuff. She was a self-defined germaphobe though, and said that she has some ocd. So...

 

But, you know...I really find it hard to see the world from an ultrarelaxed place now....

 

Thanks for sharing your story too..

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I'm going to back DCMom up on this one. I let them eat things that drop on the floor for the very same reason. I don't want them to get nuts about germs. We don't share licks of ice cream but I do let them eat food that drops on the floor. Not wet food but dry food. A cracker or cookie or something like that. I do this so they don't go overboard with germs. I actually read an article that it doesn't matter if wet or dry food touches the floor, the germs they pick up are the same. However, psychologically, for me, I can't do it. Only dry food. I freely admit I am personally OCD about food and sterility. But I believe that if you are going to have some sort of OCD, that is the area we should have it!! I can't even imagine having a waitress pack up my uneaten food at a restaurant. I was a waitress during college. I have seen wait staff pick/eat people's food being wrapped up. I always ask wait staff to bring me a container and I will wrap it up myself!

 

Hey, thanks for the tip about wrapping up our own food instead of having a waitress do it. Yes...I guess if we are going to be ocd about anything, then sterility and food are good things to be ocd about. :D Sterility to me also includes being aware of who is sick, and not having that person in my home playing with my kid. People have been known to come over years ago, with their sick children coughing and coughing and coughing and with a fever, just for the sake of coming over for a playdate. Like I said, I was pretty relaxed about stuff when my son was a lot younger, but after pandas took hold of his life, I now make it really clear, that a child can come over, as long as he or she is not sick. Once a kid and his sister came over and she was coughing with tons of phlegm, and I had them all play outside, not in our house, and I told the kids that they sounded sick, and that I didn't want my son to get sick, because he had a really bad time of it one time.

 

One time it was really cold out, and a few kids from the same family wanted a ride home, but the oldest girl was coughing with phlegm and she sounded horrible, and I immediately said, "I cannot have sick people in my car....sorry...I don't want my son to get sick".... and she walked home with her other sister, and I took the two little ones home. I explained to my son that I don't go to people's home when he is sick or when I am sick, and I expect the same courtesy from them.

 

However... when he was a toddler, a preschooler and in kindergarten, I really didn't think much of it. Now....I am obsessed with sterility, which includes not bringing sick people in my car or into my home. My world has changed so much. Sadly, this new change in my has obviously impacted on my ds9, who gives me secret looks whenever someone has a cough. He notices too. :unsure:

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Wow-wee!! That sounds like an episode from the carol Burnett show...that wacky momma's family skit!! I think I might just grab that spoon outta her hand, lick it cleanly in front of her, then place the spoon under my armpit making sure she saw me -- give it a good rub and plop it back in the community pot and take my kids and scram!!! For good!

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Wow-wee!! That sounds like an episode from the carol Burnett show...that wacky momma's family skit!! I think I might just grab that spoon outta her hand, lick it cleanly in front of her, then place the spoon under my armpit making sure she saw me -- give it a good rub and plop it back in the community pot and take my kids and scram!!! For good!

 

 

 

 

Hey coco....I know you can do better than an armpit!! :ph34r::lol:

Edited by P.Mom
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Thanks philly :)

 

You know, for someone with ocd- they will not let the waitress wrap their food, BUT this will snowball and eventually they won't be able to eat out at all (chef, waitress, etc, preparing their foods). We ALL have thoughts of Ew- that might be gross, but we allow our mind to LET IT GO, the ocd mind sometimes CANNOT and will not let it go, and that is why this causes trouble.

 

My dd did have some germ stuff on initial onset- started with not touching elevator buttons, bathroom door handles, and other stuff in public. Then it moved to refusal to use any public bathroom (including school). Then, she had pex. How long until it developed into not being able to leave the house due to germs.

 

I tell her- germs are everywhere- the reality is you cannot avoid them, and it really would not be healthy to. Our psych told her an exposure he does for people with germ ocd is to put their hands in the toilet water, and then eat their lunch without washing their hands. Gross, right? She was so fascinated by this. The reality is- you will get sick from the germ you are not aware of, and very likely not from sharing a soda with a friend. I want my dd to be able to order a huge brownie sundae and share with her friends, or her boyfriend (way in the future), like I did- without thinking twice. I don't want her to wash her hands 15 times a day. I want her to eat her sandwich if it falls on the floor. I want her to be able to eat something from a greasy street vendor. That is life, that is good life-

 

Yes DC Mom...we did those things. It is what teens do, and not think twice about it. I never worried about sharing germs. I never worried about catching mono or strep or anything like that. Life was good. When I was in my 20s and smoked, I didn't think twice about sharing a cigarette with friends. Wow...how my life and mind has turned around ever since ds has gotten sick. Looks like I need to work on myself too, to give him the chance to have a good life.

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Coco - I like the way you think!

 

Sweet Cheeks - I smoked in college too. Not at all concerned about the toxins I was putting in my body - but when I knew I would be smoking and we went out I purchased two packs. Whenever someone asked for a drag I would just give it to them. Couldn't bear the thought of having someone else's lips on my smoke...that wouldn't be healthy. :lol:

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Thanks philly :)

 

You know, for someone with ocd- they will not let the waitress wrap their food, BUT this will snowball and eventually they won't be able to eat out at all (chef, waitress, etc, preparing their foods). We ALL have thoughts of Ew- that might be gross, but we allow our mind to LET IT GO, the ocd mind sometimes CANNOT and will not let it go, and that is why this causes trouble.

 

My dd did have some germ stuff on initial onset- started with not touching elevator buttons, bathroom door handles, and other stuff in public. Then it moved to refusal to use any public bathroom (including school). Then, she had pex. How long until it developed into not being able to leave the house due to germs.

 

I tell her- germs are everywhere- the reality is you cannot avoid them, and it really would not be healthy to. Our psych told her an exposure he does for people with germ ocd is to put their hands in the toilet water, and then eat their lunch without washing their hands. Gross, right? She was so fascinated by this. The reality is- you will get sick from the germ you are not aware of, and very likely not from sharing a soda with a friend. I want my dd to be able to order a huge brownie sundae and share with her friends, or her boyfriend (way in the future), like I did- without thinking twice. I don't want her to wash her hands 15 times a day. I want her to eat her sandwich if it falls on the floor. I want her to be able to eat something from a greasy street vendor. That is life, that is good life-

 

 

 

dcmom....I am right there with you! Your post reflects how things roll in our house and what I want for my boys. We make no fuss about anything except avoiding sharing when someone else is known to be ill. Other than that....we share the soda, the ice cream, 5 second rule is fine here....drink out of water fountains, etc. My son who had the OCD germ stuff pretty severly has non of that left. I am overjoyed to see him share food, not wash his hands, etc. But, it broke my heart when he would not even eat a thing I merely touched with my clean hands. My boys are no worse for it....they are better and have not gotten strep despite it all in almost 5 years.

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Such a scary -- and humorous -- post/thread!

 

I see a cultural component here. We teach our children not to burp in public, yet in some countries they would be considered rude if they neglected to burp after being served a nice meal....

 

But there is also a political component here -- (Who's in charge?!) -- and there is a health component. I recall, my father, after my brother and sister-in-law had given him strict instructions not to serve my niece (a baby at the time, but I forget exactly how old) any nuts, defiantly served her a brownie with nuts. ("I know better! My kids ate nuts and they turned out just fine! etc., etc.") She suffered no ill effects. But what if she'd turned out to have a nut allergy?... She could have died....

 

Germs are abnormally dangerous to people with autoimmune syndromes. Sadly, most folks don't even know what an "autoimmune syndrome" is. But for a parent caring for a kid with an autoimmune syndrome, health concerns trump concerns of etiquette and politics.

 

Good luck with your continuing navigation!!!

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Did anyone see Alicia Silverstone on the news today? She chews her toddlers food and kisses/spits it into his mouth for him in home video.

 

Maybe she's part penguin....

 

 

Hey JAG, I think she's part jackass! 😂

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Did anyone see Alicia Silverstone on the news today? She chews her toddlers food and kisses/spits it into his mouth for him in home video.

 

Maybe she's part penguin....

That's pretty disgusting...but when my daughter had thrush as an infant, the pediatrician told me to put her pacifier in my mouth before putting it into her's because then I could help her mouth colonate with good bacteria. He told me that within the family unit it's practically impossible to not be sharing germs. I try to tell my kids that it's probably okay to share a sip with a sibling if their not sick, but no one else. I also try to remember that there are probably much more benign/neutral germs in our environment. I have become so much more aware of germs just from living with my husband...his family is more OCDish about them. Chemar has a great quote in her signature: "the microbe is nothing; the terrain is everything." by Louis Pasteur. Remember, that if a bad germ falls on a clean surface, there is no competition to keep it in check. We need bacteria, and I believe they may someday think that there are beneficial parasites too--humanity didn't evolve in a vacuum.

 

We're more like PMom in our house...but I take things as situational.

Edited by Kayanne
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